When I was pregnant, I would study lists that several women had made on “essential” things to bring when you had a baby. So I valiantly followed the lists.
And I ended up barely touching anything I brought and wishing I had brought items that actually were essential. I had advice given to me several times, but there were some things no one told me. So here are the things I wish I had known about giving birth.
What NOT to bring
Toiletries (Makeup for starters)- Who cares if you look cute? You just gave birth! If you take pictures in the hospital people will definitely understand if you look tired. And when you see the pictures, it will remind you that it was a lot of effort, not just a walk through the park. You do shower after you give birth, but I couldn’t exactly stand long enough to blow dry my hair, and I’m one who HATES having my hair wet longer than necessary. The only toiletries I would say are essential are a toothbrush. And maybe a brush and hair ties to hold your hair back.
Robe and slippers- They have hospital gowns that you can wear like a robe. They have sanitation standards. So unless you’re incredibly germophobic, leave it home.
“Cute” clothes- All I cared about was being comfortable, and the only person who saw me going home that I cared about was my husband. You do need a couple changes of clothes, but the cuteness is up to you. Make sure they aren't tight on your tummy. You won't wear those for a few months.
Laptop and several things for entertainment- This may be different if you’re at the hospital during the day before you give birth, but I never touched anything for entertainment. All I wanted to do was sleep. I hadn’t gotten much sleep the day before, and I definitely didn’t get much with a newborn. So you may want to bring a book or your kindle, but you probably won’t need much.
What to bring
A thick blanket for hubby- Before and after birth, I was horribly hot. So, with my pregnancy brain, I think I had the nurses turn the room temperature down to 62 degrees. And still the only blanket I used was the thin sheet on the hospital bed. But my poor husband had a thin sheet and two really thin blankets and was freezing to death. So next time we are bringing a very thick quilt. Or maybe even two. If he doesn’t sleep under them, the blankets can go beneath him to provide a more comfortable bed.
A pillow or two for hubby- again, the hospital probably provides some, but he’ll sleep much better if he’s comfortable.
Pajamas and change of clothes for hubby.
Money for food-The hospital may deliver food to you as a patient, but your husband will have to fend for himself. Don’t make him starve! And don’t make him survive off of granola bars. Those don’t satisfy you for very long. The hospital should have a cafeteria with food that will at least keep him full. That being said, it’s still a good idea to have a couple of snacks packed in case he doesn’t want to leave the room.
Pads- The hospital might provide feminine pads for you, but the kind they gave me were really thick and I hated them, so if you have a preference, bring a small package of your favorite brand.
A chart-If you’re like me and end up having awful, sleep-deprived pregnancy brain, you will need this chart. Even a blank piece of paper people can write on will do. Include these categories: Name, Time, and What Occurred. I don’t know why, but the nurses assumed that I would remember every conversation I have even though I’d just given birth and was completely sleep-deprived. Thus, I had someone give me pain pills and they wouldn’t give more because I hadn’t known what time I had taken them. We also stayed five hours longer than we had planned on because I couldn’t remember if the doctor had told me I could be released or not, and they couldn’t find him anywhere. So. Make a chart and MAKE SURE EVERYONE WRITES ON IT. The hospital I went to even had a marker board for people to write on, but for some reason, not everyone did. It’s very frustrating.
Phones and chargers
Toothbrush
Underwear
Nursing bras
Deoderant
Hair ties
Carseat
Blankets and wraps
Baby wipes
Small package of diapers
Baby clothes
Binky
Alright. Now let's talk about a few other things.
Contractions- First of all, what to contractions feel like? When I first started having contractions, I called four different women to figure out if I was having contractions or not. None of them would tell me! The thing is, as a first time mom, I for some weird reason thought that all of my abdominal muscles would be contracting…you know, since the baby is located right where your abs are. However, that was not the case. You use your abs to deliver the baby, but the actual contractions are IN YOUR UTERUS. So at least at the beginning, it felt like I was having horrible menstrual cramps. I know the pain may be in different locations for everyone; some women say it’s in their back, some say that it’s a burning sensation…the best way I can say it is that whatever pain you have during your menstrual cycle, it will probably feel like that. Just more painful.
When should I go to the hospital? ….Birth doesn’t happen like in the movies. In many movies, the woman suddenly has pain in her stomach, she pushes for a few minutes, and the baby is born. In other movies, the woman’s water breaks out of NOWHERE and they have to rush to the hospital. What they don’t show is that typically there are actually a few HOURS of contractions beforehand. I had contractions for more than 24 hours before I finally gave birth.
I know several women who started having contractions and went to the hospital, only to find out they weren’t dilated enough and were sent back home. Doctors recommend that you go into the hospital when your contractions are 1 minute long, 5 minutes apart. Yeah, well mine were that way for 24 hours before my baby was born. So honestly, just use a good sense of judgment. For your first baby, you will probably be laboring for a few hours or more before it’s time to go to the hospital. When I finally decided it was time to go to the hospital, it’s because I was exhausted and knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep unless I had something to stop the pain. If you are getting an epidural, you need to be there late enough that you are dilated enough, but soon enough that you can still get an epidural. They won’t give it to you after you have dilated a certain amount.
Episiotomy and Epidural- If you are considering getting either of these, do! An episiotomy is when the doctors think you might tear during birth, so they make a cut instead. I didn’t realize that you heal faster from an episiotomy than a tear, so I tore in five places. Let’s just say that next time I will be getting an episiotomy. As for an epidural…I know it doesn’t always work, but for me it did and it was heaven! I wouldn’t recommend going without one. There was one spot the epidural didn’t numb, so I could tell when I was having awful contractions, and that was “natural” enough for me to know I was having a baby.
Breastfeeding-Let me make one point clear. Breastfeeding should not be painful! Not at all!! Especially not at first because you won’t have much milk yet. If it hurts, there is probably something wrong. I knew this from the start, so when I first started breastfeeding and it hurt horribly, I knew something was wrong. But the two women who were helping me couldn’t see anything wrong, so they just looked at me like I was a wuss. One woman was concerned that I may not produce enough milk because her daughter had a hard time breastfeeding. So she turned up the breast pump to 10. I believe my comfort zone was between 4 and 6. Do I have to say that it hurt like the devil? Imagine someone grabbing you there and pinching as hard as they can. Yes it hurts! No it does not make you a wuss! So after 3 days of getting frustrated because nursing hurt so much, I finally decided I would either have to live with the pain or stop nursing. Then we went to my son’s 3-day old appointment. Guess what they found out? My baby had a tongue tie! Imagine there actually being a reason that it was hurting to nurse! So please, if you’re having any pain besides general soreness, ask a doctor, a lactation specialist, someone with professional knowledge, and see what they can do to help.
Insurance- Know what your insurance will cover before you go to the hospital. If it’s not listed in a booklet your insurance sends you, call and ask how many nights will be covered, what surgeries will be covered if necessary, it they will cover a breast pump, and any other things you can think of. Make sure you have your insurance cards with you. Medicaid is a little more complicated- I believe you have to call the Medicaid office within 24 hours of the baby being born so you can be issued a number for the baby. Otherwise, it will be difficult to have Medicaid cover the cost of having the baby.
I'm sure there are things I've missed, so if you think of any, please let me know in the comments below!
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